I've given in!!

Like 6 million others Americans, I finally gave in and bought a copy of Eat, Pray, Love. I hesitated for awhile, considering it to be a just another self-indulgent, "chick-lit" account until I finally realized that I was self-indulgent, and a chick no less, and considering a taking a year somewhat similar to Elizabeth Gilbert's.

I've been reading all day now. It can be sappy at times but its such a perfectly fun and insightful read. It's interesting to hear an older (and much wiser) woman's tale through a sort of "gap year" and I take comfort in knowing that she and I sometimes had the same thoughts. In fact, I can't help but occasionally think that she and I are so incredibly similar, of course, that's always the danger when you're reading a book you really like.

I've been going through highlighting ( I know) certain passages and re-reading a few sections so I'm not reading all that fast and haven't gotten through that much of it. More to come when I'm a little further along in the story.  (So far though the Italy section is making me extremely happy)

More soon....

What Am I Doing?

I can't sleep and haven't been able to for the past few hours.
What the hell am I doing??!? Honestly, I just dropped out of college with no plans, no idea what I'm going to do with myself. NO IDEA.

I'm getting really nervous now, extremely. What will I do with my year? Who will I see and spend time with?

I'm starting to feel like this was a horrible mistake and I'm leaving myself without options...

Finding a Hobby

I recently decided that there is very little in my life that can be attributed to be me.
OK- that doesn't mean anything reading it over now. What I mean is that there seems to be very little in my life that I really care about. There are very few things that I do everyday and most if not all fall in the realm of hygienic and mandatory. I need to find something I really enjoy that I do often, something that I can begin to define myself by.

Just another thing I can start to do on my gap year...




Some Ideas so far:

-Jogging (but I have bad knees and truthfully I find it pretty boring)
-Squash (practical- might help me get a job but expensive to play)
-Fashion (dumb)
-Wine (also dumb- but just a thought)
-Photography (I was never very good)
-Ugh drawing...
-Acting maybe
-Traveling
-Finance/business
-Healthcare
-Politics
-Tennis
-Boys

Just throwing things out there...  Really though, how am I supposed to choose something?!

Topic: TBD

I am a firm believer in the idea that some of the best journeys in life are taken without a road map.
I am a young adult, a young woman, who should be in college but, perhaps despite her better judgment, dropped out (or took time off) to do...... nothing in particular.

Do I ever wonder if I've made a horrible mistake?  Not ever.
Whatever it is I'm doing right now, call it self-reflection, finding myself, soul-searching whatever label you want to put on it that would make any cynic cringe, I had to do it and it was long overdue.

So this blog, this exercise in vanity, which I hope to God will never be read by anyone (although there is some satisfaction in posting something on the internet where it is possible that someone might come across it- I'm aware that made no sense but clearly I'm not rational) will be a way for me to record what I do, what comes to mind, on my gap year.

Wish me luck!

XXO,
C